Chapter 18 - Chasing After the Beloved Remnants (4)

translated by myonnie

Felix and I were sitting across from each other on his bedroom couch, just like the other day.

Between us were two cups of orange flower tea on the table, which I brewed in the hope to quiet down my nervousness and calm down Felix.

“......”

“......”

(Uh, why isn’t he asking me anything? It’s scary.)

Felix had a look of deep thought, and he remained silent. Unable to calm down, I opened my mouth first.

“I'm really sorry for doing something selfish. As you probably know, I don't have a lot of magic.”

“Yes.”

“It was an emergency so I had to use healing magic, but I soon ran out of magic power... Even though I was feeling hopeless, I thought about ways to overcome the situation.”

Everything up to this point was true. The trick to lying was to mix it with truth, so I tell him the facts thoroughly.

“And what I came up with was that wand. The idea is using the magic power stored up within it.”

“Why did you know that wand contains magic power? Even I didn’t know that.”

“Uh... I heard that from Lady Sylvia.”

“From Sylvia...?”

Of course that was a lie, but I nodded.

“To be precise, I heard it when she was talking to other saints. That the Great Saint stores their magic power in their wand in case something happens.”

(Lying to Felix makes me feel bad... But there’s no way I can tell him the truth.)

Else was really close to Sylvia during her lifetime.

There were both saints of the same empire, and it’s not strange that they know something that Felix doesn’t.

(Also, considering the relationship between the kingdom and the empire, they won’t have any interactions anymore. I won’t get caught.)

“Whether I could use that magic power was a gamble, though.”

I arranged up excuses I’d desperately thought of until I reached here.

(By the way, why did Sylvia go to Fallon Kingdom? She was already there fifteen years ago.)

How she was treating the empire, her home country, was also strange, now that I think about it.

But there’s no way I can understand Sylvia’s feelings, whose nature had long rotten away. Nor do I want to.

“...Is that so. I thought saint’s wand can’t be used by anyone other than themselves.”

“Ah, about that... It belongs to the Great Saint, so it’s definitely special, isn’t it? Maybe it sensed that I want to save people, or something like that...”

It was a painful excuse, but I couldn't find any other reasoning or proof. Felix was clearly unconvinced, but he didn't ask any further.

In an attempt to change the atmosphere, I brought up another topic.

“Also, I have one  more request.”

“What is it?”

“If anyone is injured again, please call me. The amount of my magic power is limited, but I can heal a little bit.”

The current me was definitely better than natural healing. Once Felix heard my request, he widened his eyes in surprise.

And he soon quipped up his mouth into a smile.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.”

“As compensation, tell me if there’s anything you want.”

“Yes, I’ll definitely do that.”

I still had no position in this country. That’s why if there’s an emergency, I hope he wouldn’t hesitate to tell me.

“...Uh, I’m sorry. I’m a bit tired, so I’ll go back to my room and sleep soon.”

“Yes. Have a good rest.”

My vision was already getting blurry from the middle of the conversation, and I’d reached my limit. I used healing magic too much on top of running around, so it’s only as expected.

It would probably still take some time until my frail body, which had suffered for over fifteen years, become healthy.

"......!"

“Tiana? Are you alright?”

I got lightheaded as soon as I stand up, and Felix immediately supported me before I could fall.

And he swiftly lifted me up with no hesitation.

“You have a nasty fever. I’ll carry you to your room.”

“... I'm sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

I’d been feeling dizzy for a while, but I didn’t expect it to be a fever. I didn’t feel well making an emperor carry me, but I didn’t have any strength left to walk.

I obediently leaned on him and close my eyes.

“I'll call the doctor right away.”

Everything was getting blurry, and it became difficult to even keep my eyes open. I should’ve trained my body more, for real.

(Ah, right. I need to give this to Felix.)

After I was placed on my bed, I handed out the jewel before I forget about it.

“You’re giving this to me?”

“Yes. I’m sure the Great Saint also wants you to have this.”

These were my own honest feelings.

Felix accepted the red jewel attached to the wand, gazing into the palm of his hand sadly.

“...Thank you. I’ll cherish it for the rest of my life.”

(That’s great. Ah, I’m already, at my limit...)

I lose consciousness, the sight of Felix clutching the jewel as if it’s a treasure the last thing I see.

◇◇◇

According to the doctor, Tiana had overworked herself. She was surprisingly thin, having suffered malnutrition for many years.

I left the rest to the maids and go back to the office. The wand that's always in sight was gone. It’s like entering an entirely different room.

(But this is better.)

I know that using her wand, which was about to break, as a decoration was wrong. But still.

...I’m scared. That my memory of her would fade if I didn't put things related to her around me.

Time was cruel, and little by little they took Else from me no matter how much I didn't want to forget her.

(...It’s beautiful.)

I took out the jewel given by Tiana and stared at it. That dazzlingly bright red reminded me of Else’s beautiful red hair.

“Tiana Everett, huh?”

Who was she, actually? She was from the kingdom, and I know that she was hiding something.

Still, I don’t think she’s the enemy of this country.

At first, when she started investigating the ‘curse’, I thought she was pretending to do it for this country. That it was to protect herself.

But from Rufino’s words and what I just saw, it’s clear that she’s genuinely doing it for this country.

(...Above all, I become weird when I’m with Tiana.)

It’s like she’ll cross the boundary I draw with others someday. I had to keep reminding myself that it must never happen.

And I also couldn't get the words Tiana muttered before she fainted out of my head.

“...I’m sorry, for not keeping my promise.”

(What did she mean by that?)

She’s probably mistaking me for someone else in her feverish mind. Because I’ve never made any promises to her.

Even though I know that, my heart was aching for no reason, and it didn't subside for a while after that.

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