Chapter 109 - I want you
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“I just want to know when I initiated the Fate Substitution, did you get worried or nervous for me…”
Yin Suye’s eyes became so deep at that moment, and the corner of his mouth was slightly curved; finally saying out his real thoughts that were hidden at the bottom of his heart.
“Then, are you satisfied with this result?”
Towards Yin Suye whose line of thought was strange and unusual, Shui Ruoshan had only a deep sense of powerlessness. Yin Suye doesn’t trust him and wanted to test him, Shui Ruoshan thinks he can understand this. But what he really couldn’t understand was why Yin Suye had to choose a way that is cruel to himself to test him? In the end, how ruthless can he be to do such cruelty to himself?
At the same time, Shui Ruoshan also did some self-reflection. Was it because his usual concern to Yin Suye is too subtle that Yin Suye didn’t feel it? Or was it because during the time he set a profile up for the villain, he did not write a love background for the villain, so he forgot to include a sentiment receiver for Yin Suye?
“No!”
Yin Suye subconsciously clenched his fist, and his eyes gradually showed a bright red blood color…not enough, not enough! Originally he thought all he needed was someone for him to trust, but then Shui Ruoshan appeared. He thought that this would make up for the regret from his past life. The result is he was wrong. The more he get in contact with Shui Ruoshan, the more he became attached to the kind of warmth from being placed in someone’s heart, and then he became more and more unsatisfied. Now, he wants even more! Even when Shui Ruoshan has always been thinking for him and gave him a lot of guarantees, but it was far from satisfying what he really wants!
“What do you want actually?”
In an instant, Shui Ruoshan could only feel Yin Suye’s grip on him tightened and he seemed to hear his bones protesting. Just that he doesn’t dare to act rashly right now. At this moment, Yin Suye gave him a very uneasy feeling, as if that a terrible monster would be released with a single touch.
“I want you!”
At this moment, Yin Suye finally tore away his disguise in front of Shui Ruoshan, revealing his true side. Inside those deep, heterochromatic eyes, there were complex emotions that one cannot see through. But that kind of oppressive possessiveness in his eyes can no longer be disguised!
Just like that, he looked at Shui Ruoshan as if he only has this person in his eyes, and he can only put this one person in his eyes! In the stark contrast to the dark and bloody surroundings, it is the warm body temperature in his arms, the soft touch under his palm, that never-endingly stimulated Yin Suye’s sensitive nerves. Slightly tilting his head, and looking at Shui Ruoshan’s slender white neck, he had an impulse to bite down right away. However, it is not the time yet!
Now, he must first let Shui Ruoshan truly take note of his(YSY) presence first!
“…”
Shui Ruoshan widened his eyes in disbelief, stupidly looking up at Yin Suye. Yin Suye’s sentence ‘I want you’ has too much ranting point that he don’t know where to start ranting. If he didn’t misunderstood, this sentence should belong to the confession category, right? According to the plot of the novel, this sentence ‘I want your’ should be generally used by the stronger side to announce possession over the weaker side, right?
WADAFCUKKKKK!!!
Although he(SRS) knows that he is the weaker party compared to Yin Suye, but is it necessary to emphasize it with such words? Is one really a honorable man to expose people’s shortcomings? No, he seems to be going out of topic again. In fact, he should rant that why Yin Suye could say such ambiguous words like ‘I want you’ with the killing aura of a well-equipped cavalry! Sure enough, only the villain who don’t understand love can have this kind of powerful talent – destroying the atmosphere!
To be honest, Yin Suye’s tone really deserved a beating! Otherwise, hearing something so easy for one to think weirdly, why is it not only he didn’t feel any embarrassment, he also felt a terrible sense of danger? Actually, Yin Suye is treating him as an enemy right?
“I want to be closer to you, so I have been trying my best to be good to you before this.”
Looking at the little guy in the arms smirking at his own brain hole, Yin Suye’s eyes became deeper. His little guy is really dull, he(YSY) is already so obvious, but the little guy has yet to understand! So slow that he had the illusion of going crazy!
“En.”
Shui Ruoshan still would agree with Yin Suye that he(YSY) is indeed very good to him. All the time he was with Yin Suye, Shui Ruoshan could clearly see that Yin Suye did really took good care of him.
“But no matter how hard I try, I never manage to really walk into your heart.”
He doesn’t know if it was because he didn’t know how take care of people, or because he didn’t get to the level of Shui Ruoshan’s heart, so he never manage to open Shui Ruoshan’s heart. Here, Yin Suye did not use a questioning tone at all but used an affirmative tone. He didn’t know if Shui Ruoshan had such a feeling, but he clearly felt that there is always an uncrossable gap between him and Shui Ruoshan.
This is not only because Shui Ruoshan came from another world, but also because of Shui Ruoshan’s own mentality. Therefore, he could only exhaust all his strategies and took Shui Ruoshan down from his aloof mentality[1], just to narrow the distance between them.
1. Like none of the things happening in this world matters to me
“…”
Shui Ruoshan would like to say that he absolutely have some feelings for Yin Suye. If he doesn’t care, he won’t help Yin Suye that much. But at the same time he also understood that what Yin Suye said was right. He subconsciously didn’t acknowledge this world, so he has an indifferent attitude towards everything in this world. He won’t deny that in fact he still subconsciously regarded Yin Suye as the villain of the story only. So, his feelings are true, but not sincere!
“Sometimes I thought, if I can’t make you to have deep feelings for me, then maybe I can change to another way, so that you can deeply engrave me in your heart? En?”
Yin Suye’s voice was very light and soft, but the meaning revealed in the words involuntarily gave people a feeling of wanting to escape.
“…”
At this moment, Shui Ruoshan truly realized that this person in front of him holding him tightly was not the good young man who was hailed as the “Light of the Sun”, but the villain blackened the extreme in the later half of the novel. It was due to Yin Suye has always been nice and harmless in front of him, that he unconsciously disregard someone’s nature. In the face of such perfect Yin Suye, he always felt something odd. This sense of oddness became more and more intense when he knew that Yin Suye was reborn. Because it’s impossible for his family’s villain to be as perfect as what he showed in the public! At this moment, Yin Suye who had his perfect camouflage removed, let Shui Ruoshan once again realized that his family’s villain had always been a villain who has been blackened to madness!
“Even so, I still can’t bear to hurt you, so I can only choose to hurt myself.”
When Yin Suye said this, there was a faint self-deprecation, helplessness, and indulgences in his eyes. Obviously, he did thought of a way to test the little guy but he can’t take any action because he can’t bear to hurt him!
For the little guy who has been placed in his heart, don’t say about hurting him(SRS), he(YSY) is reluctant even to let him feel aggrieved even a bit. Even if he might be able to scheme seamlessly and make sure that the little guy never know he(YSY) was the one hurting people behind him, but as long as he thinks the little guy may feel hurt, he just can’t calm down. He could constantly test the little guy’s feeling, but he won’t allow anyone to hurt his little guy! Even if that person is himself, he still won’t let it! This is his only bottom line!
Therefore, instead of letting the little guy get hurt, Yin Suye will change his way of trying; he is willing to take all the damages!
“So you don’t want your life, and initiated the Fate Substitution?”
Although Shui Ruoshan was very angry in the last second that Yin Suye wanted to hurt him, but in the next second, he didn’t even have the strength to get angry. In the end, how hard Yin Suye took things in to use self-abuse to increase his position in his(SRS) heart ah?
Facing such Yin Suye, Shui Ruoshan only felt his own heart was uncomfortable. It was not painful, but a dull discomfort. How did Yin Suye came out with this kind of extreme theory like ‘I can’t hurt you then I’ll hurt myself’? There seems to be no necessary connection between the two logic at all. Yin Suye, if you can’t learn your logic well, don’t randomly make a conclusion! Your logic teacher absolutely will cry ah!
“Yes.”
Yin Suye just looked at Shui Ruoshan quietly. Since the little guy knows a lot of things and has seen his means of dealing with people, he must have a certain understanding of his nature. This is why he risked exposing his dark side to the little guy. He doesn’t want to face the little guy with a false personality forever. He hopes that the little guy can accept the real him, whether it’s light or dark, good or cruel, no matter whether sane or insane…
“…”
Shui Ruoshan finally understood at this point why Yin Suye would insist on initiating the Fate Substitution. It was not that the situation forced them down a dead end, just that Yin Suye took things too hard and just want to suffer? Dear villain, you acting so mad, did the author created that? He is absolutely didn’t create that ah!
……
Raw Word Count : 2901
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