Qiao Yanzhou had raised a cactus ball before because he heard from somewhere that a cactus ball could suck in radiation. As a result Qiao Yanzhou placed the cactus ball in front of his computer and gave it a completely gay sounding name: Xiao Maomao.
Later, because Qiao Yanzhou completely cherished Xiao Maomao, as a result not even a week went by and it died.
Even after that, Qiao Yanzhou thought for a long time before concluding that Xiao Maomao must have died from too much radiation from the computer. Not even the slightest bit did he think that watering his cactus with half a can of coke when he was drunk could be a problem.
Now presently, the Qiao Yanzhou who couldn't even raise a cactus ball, was carrying a living cat. A mandarin cat, an extremely adorable one.
But also it was clearly evident that this innocent adorable mandarin cat had not developed a consciousness at this moment and didn't realize how dangerous the situation was.
“What to do.” Arriving home, Qiao Yanzhou put the cat on the ground, faced it and asked.
The cat didn’t care about him at all.
Just now on the way back, Qiao Yanzhou was holding the cat in one hand and searching through Baidu on his phone with the other. Many people were saying that cats should not drink cow milk, as a result Qiao Yanzhou went to the supermarket and bought expensive sheep’s milk. But Qiao Yanzhou really wasn’t too sure about the other things.
Eh, that's right. There was something else that was importantly needed. Just now on the way back Qiao Yanzhou, for the sake of the cat starting over and having a new life, had given it a completely specialized name full of creativity--- Wotou (1). At the time he finished choosing the name, Qiao Yanzhou felt that he was simply a literary talent brimming with talent and just wanted to pat himself on the back.
One man and one cat didn't talk on the way back. This half grown cat merely curled itself into his embrace and opened its eyes wide as it looked in front. Don’t know what it was thinking, or if it realized that it was already abandoned by its previous owner, or that five minutes ago it boarded a pirate ship, or perhaps it was better to call it a hearse.
After arriving at the new home, Wotou was still a bit guarded. It stood at the entrance for a while, refusing to step inside.
“Come in, I’m going to give you a bathe Lao ge (2).” Qiao Yanzhou entered his home and switched shoes, randomly threw this phrase at the cat and pulled out his phone to look at mandarin cat raising guides on Baidu as he walked towards the bathroom.
In the end, he was leaning against the bathroom sink for a long time, flipping through his phone but he didn't hear any movement. He lifted his head and saw that Wotou was still standing at the door.
“Brother, come in ah.”
The originally standing Wotou once hearing Qiao Yanzhou, responded with a sound then sat down at the entrance and didn’t move.
For the first time in his life Qiao Yanzhou experienced what it was like to have a language barrier between species. As a result he walked back to the entrance thinking of just picking up Wotou to bring him to the bathroom.
But in the end just as he was about to extend a hand out he heard an unfriendly hiss.
“Ai wtf, still hissing at Laozi(3)? You really think I’m scared of you?” Qiao Yanzhou rubbed his sleeve, sneered in a sarcastic voice, “Laozi is really f*cking scared of you, you’re really f*cking awesome ba!”
Qiao Yanzhou bravely took the opportunity to say a cruel phrase. “You think I want to wash you?!”
What to do ne? Qiao Yanzhou was a bit anxious. Aftering being at a loss over and over again, he decided to finally ask his viewers on his stream.
Although these viewers usually liked to cause trouble, when they run into something serious they could be reliable.
So Qiao Yanzhou hurried to open his live stream and switched the category to ‘Life’ then directly put the serious looking Wotou sitting there in the middle of the camera lens.
But before Qiao Yanzhou could even explain, a barrage of comments attacked like feral horse.
First comment: This time it’s unexpectedly in the ‘Life’ section instead of League of Legends!
Second comment: Zhouzhou finally streaming in womens clothes ma!!
Third comment: I’ve waited for this day to come!! Thank you life!
Fourth comment: Didn’t EG win, why is he still crossdressing?
Fifth bullet: Yaoshou la (4)! The streamer has turned into a ca la !!
Qiao Yanzhou suddenly realized that asking his viewers was a rotten idea. In fact, it was so rancid that it was becoming moldy.
“Can you guys be a little more serious!” Qiao Yanzhou gloomily turned the camera lens from Wotou onto himself. “Why is everything being pulled back onto the topic of women’s clothes. Is a big Laoye wearing a skirt something nice to look at?!”
Numerous Comments: Correct ah, yes ah, that's right ah
Qiao Yanzhou: “...”
“I’ll tell you guys that tonight I drank some alcohol, so if you keep provoking me I’ll really get angry and terrify you.” Qiao Yanzhou finished talking then thought a bit, “Or maybe it’ll only be me who is terrified.”
Qiao Yanzhou suddenly realized that he was beginning to lose more and more position on his own stream. From when did it start ne….
“Guys guys, just now I picked up a cat downstairs. He won’t take a bath and is only sitting on the entrance. What do I do… “ Although he was distressed, Qiao Yanzhou didn’t say anymore rubbish and moved the camera lens to Wotou again.
Wotou saw itself on the screen of the phone and gave a big yawn.
First comment: The Cat lovers squad will arrive on the battlefield in 30 seconds.
Second comment: Use some food to tempt it.
Third comment: With one glance you can tell that this cat has taken a bath before, it doesn't like to go to the bathroom
Fourth comment: Streamer say some nice words to it and try
These two nice words…
Qiao Yanzhou smacked his lips.
“Wotou? Darling?” Qiao Yanzhou spoke as he carefully extended a hand to rub its head.
Wotou looked at Qiao Yanzhou. Although it did not avoid his hand, from its expression Qiao Yanzhou really couldn't tell if it was scared of him or just disliked him. But since it was a cat’s temperament it was more probably the latter.
“Come with daddy to go take a bath ok? En?” Qiao Yanzhou lightly used his index finger to lift Wotou’s chin.
“I’m very gentle, I won’t hurt you.”
Comment A: Zhouzhou don’t talk anymore!! The cat won’t let you bathe it but I’ll let you bathe me!!!!
Comment B: I really wanted to record that ‘En’ word just now! It was so sexy!!! Can’t stand it!!!
Comment C: Isn’t the streamer setting up to tbe the little shou dressed in women’s clothes of a big shot? With this kind of flirting you sure you don’t have the wrong script!?
Comment D: Zhouzhou I don't care, I also want to shower with you!
The ones before Qiao Yanzhou didn’t know, but the last comment Qiao Yanzhou recognized and was 100% sure it was a man. A type of man with a back of a tiger and waist of a bear body type.
This rotten broadcast had to end sooner or later.
“Come ba, I’ll hold you.” Qiao Yanzhou noticed that Wotou’s mood was a bit more calm, so he reached out to hold it.
Wotou didn’t move, still continued to sit there and stare. Qiao Yanzhou slowly advanced, discovering that it seems it really wouldn't refuse him.
Qiao Yanzhou managed to slowly hold Wotou, turned towards the bathroom and walked over.
[EG Esports Club]
“Zixing, I heard that recently you found a pretty good newcomer on the Yamao platform?”
The relevant talks about GML were already almost done when Coach Chen suddenly switched topics to the newcomer that Gu Zixing found.
Gu Zixing had been asleep on the chair so long that his nose was almost dripping. As soon as he heard Coach Chen call on him he tiredly rubbed his hair.
“En… not considered a new person, Qi Chen had talked with him before.” Gu Zixing was a bit tired, disinclined to say much, he might as well throw the burden onto Qi Chen.
“Ah? Uh…” Qi Chen forced out a smile. “Understood.”
“What position are they good in?”
“Mid and support ba.” Qi Chen recalled a bit, “He’s been playing for less than six years and is Gu Zixing’s fan. When he plays mid it’s very similar to Gu Zixing.”
“Similar?” Coach Chen frowned. Truthfully to Coach Chen, this ‘similar’ word was not considered a good thing. Coach Chen only liked people who had individuality, blindly imitating could not be called strength.
“Is it very similar?”
“You don’t understand cr*p.” Without waiting for Qi Chen to reply, Gu Zixing took over the conversation from the side and asked Qi Chen, “What’s similar?”
The meeting room suddenly sank into a moment of silence.
Gu Zixing was speaking on behalf of Qiao Yanzhou?
Don’t even speak about Qi Chen, even Yao Le sitting on the side was a bit startled.
Although Gu Zixing had a temper but the words he spoke were never light. He vaguely remembered that last time Gu Zixing retorted like this was when Manager Ren doubted whether Gu Zixing could beat TR’s mid laner.
At the time Gu Zixing lazily rested his head on his hand, then asked a question: If I can’t win against him, then you’re going to play?
But that time was entirely because of the grudge between Gu Zixing and Manager Ren, but for what reason was it this time?
What kind of sacred being was Qiao Yanzhou for Gu Zixing to protect him like this? Qi Chen wanted to know, Yao Le on the side also wanted to know even more.
“That’s enough, what you guys say doesn't matter. I heard someone say that he will stream League of Legends every night right? It seems as though they are a diligent streamer.” Coach Chen asked this.
“Yes.” Qi Chen wasn’t really too sure.
“Dig up his livestream to take a look. I am also curious to see how the person that Commander Gu took a fancy to plays.” Coach Chen opened the computer, copied the URL from Qi Chen, and clicked enter.
But after joining the stream for a split second….
“Ai Wtf!! How did this cat jump so high on top of the washing machine!!”
“Dear dad could you please not fling it! Shook water all over me! These clothes are new!”
“That's my toothbrush!!!”
Coach Chen “...”
Qi Chen “...”
Yao Le” ...”
Gu Zixing “..................... pftttt”
I am also curious to see how the person that Commander Gu took a fancy to plays.
En, Aren’t you surprised, unexpected?
“They’re really flexible ah.” Qi Chen towards the projector couldn't help but explain in admiration.
“Who are you talking about.”
“The cat.” Qi Chen couldn't help but clap his hands.
“That’s just how Qiao Yanzhou moves.”
- Wotou: Not sure of this one since there could be many translations of what this refers to. Literally, it could mean something along the lines of ‘Sheltered Boss’. But theres also a kind of Chinese steamed corn bread called Wowotou so could also be referring to that?
- Lao ge: it literally means old brother/eldest brother, but is used as a way to address people close to you. Similar to the word “bro”
- Laozi: refers yourself as father/daddy, used to show superiority and usually used in anger/contempt
- Yaoshou la: popular internet slang, equivalent to ‘Oh my god’, ‘Going to die’, ‘D*mn it’