The Ice Spirit Beast.
Shen Shui Yan had never heard of it with his limited knowledge, but he had seen it...
He saw Ah Yun's beast form, his icy blue ears and tail.
He had even threatened him with it.
But even though he had seen it, he never tried to understand what he saw. He never thought about why Ah Yun would be this way, just like how he never ever asked why Ah Yun needed Xie Qian Lan.
He clearly cared for Ah Yun, clearly loved him so much, but why...How could he miss so many things?
Shen Shui Yan's thoughts were in disarray. He lowered his head and shut his eyes, not making a single sound.
Mo Jiu Shao then said, "I was the one who lacked consideration. I had no idea about Mr. Shen's identity and so I advised you to mention the side effects to him later. However, the estrus period of an Ice Spirit Beast generally can not last over seven days. Mr. Shen has waited this long, sooner or later, he would probably..."
Mo Jiu Shao sighed and asked with some concern. "Mr. Shen, you...Nothing happened between you, right?"
That one sentence caused Shen Shui Yan to open his eyes abruptly.
Then, he finally turned to the bed again.
With just one look, Shen Shui Yan felt pain as if his heart was being torn apart.
The strong Ah Yun, the handsome Ah Yun, uncrowned king of the human realm, the Respected Leader revered by all...The god in his heart...
Turned into this.
The backlash was even more terrifying than he expected. Ah Yun's cultivation that stood at the peak was all gone, and he could almost see his meridians breaking and qi field crumbling with his own eyes, and he saw him enduring an infinite amount of pain and perpetual despair.
He could see his body rapidly decaying from the backlash like a flower that had lost its light, like withering leaves in autumn, and land that had endured the ravaging of wind and seas.
Losing all life, all that was left was a barren mess covered in an aura of death that was brewed up from hell.
His Ah Yun was dying...and it was all his fault.
Shen Shui Yan tasted great pain and also a desperate sense of loss.
He half-kneeled in front of the bed, his eyes overflowing with helplessness. Carefully, he picked up Chu Mu Yun's hand, and though his actions were so light, the frailty he felt still shook his chest with numbness.
And right at this moment, the man lying in the soft mattress, frail to the point that he could almost blend with the white sheets moved ever so slightly.
His movements were light as the flapping of a cicada's wings, as if just a breath of air could cause it to tumble over.
Chu Mu Yun opened his eyes and his voice was extremely weak. "Xiao Yan."
When he heard his voice, Shen Shui Yan quickly raised his head. The emotions inside him were so complex and his beautiful eyes were filled with endless remorse and anxiety, as well as a look of despair of being unable to forgive himself.
"Ah Yun, I'm sorry. Ah Yun...I was the one who kept it from you." His voice sounded as if he was going to cry. "Stripping away the Beast of Charm has its consequences, and that is that you will never be able to make love again. And if you do...you will..."
There was no need for him to continue. Chu Mu Yun could already feel what would happen if he "did it".
Shen Shui Yan felt that he would never be able to obtain Ah Yun's forgiveness. He'll never be able to make him look at him, think of him, and love him anymore.
He really lost him. He did so much wrong that he really was going to lose him completely.
Ah Yun tried to kill himself in front of him last time, and now...
He ruined him. Completely ruined him. His Ah Yun has now turned into this, losing everything, and it was all his doing. All him.
Shen Shui Yan could almost be flooded by the remorse in his chest. He finally and truly realized that he would never, ever be able to obtain this person he was so desperate for.
Great loss, despair, and unspeakable pain encased him. Shen Shui Yan's eyes were clouded with tears and his lips quivered. "Ah Yun, Ah Yun, Ah Yun..." He didn't even dare to apologize anymore, because that would be asking for forgiveness. But...How could he forgive him? How could he ever receive his forgiveness?
Large drops of tears fell down. Shen Shui Yan had never looked this miserable in his life, so helpless and overwhelmed...
Chu Mu Yun turned his head and looked at him with eyes that had lost their brilliance. He said to him, "Don't cry."
Shen Shui Yan raised his head to look at him, but he didn't dare to speak.
Chu Mu Yun was barely able to bring up a smile. "You did it all for me."
These words caused Shen Shui Yan to freeze. He couldn't understand what he was hearing.
Chu Mu Yun reached out and touched his cheek with his pale and lifeless hands, and though there was no strength in them, it felt so warm. Gasping lightly, he said, "I'm happy."
Tears welled up in Shen Shui Yan's eyes. He opened his eyes wide and looked at him, lost. "Wh...Why?"
Chu Mu Yun smiled weakly as if he wished to continue, but he was completely out of breath. Opening his mouth, the voice that came from it was extremely quiet. "I thought you gave up on me."
"How could I?" Shen Shui Yan quickly responded.
Chu Mu Yun looked at him. "That's why I'm happy."
Shen Shui Yan couldn't understand and his voice was quivering like crazy. "But, I...To you..."
Chu Mu Yun interrupted him. "It has nothing to do with you. You did not realize the condition of my body. You..." Before he could finish speaking, he began gasping violently.
Shen Shui Yan's heart felt painful as if it was being torn apart. He took his hand and though he did not dare to use any force, he did not dare to hold it too tightly either. He was so anxious like a child that had done wrong, completely without any ideas on what to do. He could only call out to him helplessly. "Ah Yun..."
Chu Mu Yun caught his breath for a moment and asked, "Xiao Yan, do you love me?"
This wasn't the first time he was asked this question, but none of them shook Shen Shui Yan as much as this.
Countless times before, he had given him an answer without hesitation. He told him he liked him, loved him, wanted him, he could give him any answer with such ease. But now, he could only open his mouth, but not a single word could come out.
Love...Love. What really is love?
Unable to receive a response, Chu Mu Yun felt a little dejected. However, a smile constantly remained at his lips. "Xiao Yan, I love you..."
Shen Shui Yan was completely frozen.
Chu Mu Yun's unfocused eyes seemed to be filled with Shen Shui Yan. His figure filled them completely, blocking away even the skies. He was the only one left. He said, "I hope you can be happy even if I won't be able to see you, hear you, or feel you. But I'll stay with you by your side, forever."
He was going to die, and yet he still gave him the promise of forever.
In that instant, Shen Shui Yan experienced an emotion he had never felt before.
It was so vague, so empty, almost fluttering as if he could never catch it. He could not see it nor hear it, but...it landed right in his heart.
In the deepest, softest, most vulnerable place. It branched out into a great tree that dominated all his senses.
Chu Mu Yun closed his eyes, but Shen Shui Yan was completely calm.
He leaned in close and landed a warm kiss on his pale lips. "Ah Yun, you will not die."